NOBODY knows this side of me....

I truly don't desire to share my life story with anyone willing to read it. I just want to tell you that there is another girl in here that isn't just obsessed with the books! She is a whole different person than the one I choose to show you. I'm not searching for your thoughts on me, or begging for your consent.

I am not going to go on a rant protesting war. I am not going to notify you that you're killing our planet. Or advise you that you must 'increase the peace'? I wont persuade you to protest over eating dead animals. Or that if you have sex, do drugs, that you will pop off and/or are ruining your life. I'm not here to feed you your opinions, or let you indulge in mine, figure them out for yourself.

Music, art, and films more intriguing when they are formed by reminiscence, or emotion, opposed to money or fame. We may disagree a lot upon what's good, or not.. Too bad if I don't like your taste in these areas, It's going to happen. Sure, just like everyone, I'm a critic.

When it comes to 'originality' you don't have it. I don't have it, and it's all been done previously. Good luck telling me otherwise, you are just like the next. Sure, I may be different from you. But easily enough, we all are. I'm not saying "I'm better" or, "I'm 'original"'. Were all diverse and attach ourselves to different attributes in our lives, and that makes us who we are, who we're apart from, what we thrive in, and where we abide in life.

I don't have an opinion on love, it's all too much of an illusion right now.
Merely just, something fabricated in our minds. Plus I'm too young too really understand what people go through for love.

Generally, most of the things I choose to wear, you will not find in your local hot topic, or wet seal. I don't shop around at the mall, usually. My sister and I get thrills out of $2.99 shoes, and recycled clothing that has ungodly aromas when you first purchase.We spend heaps of time shopping, and enjoy the thrifts.Tiffany probably own more sweaters that once belonged to walker-using old ladies, than you do. We have ridiculous amounts of jewelry and a terrible obsession for weird glasses

Everyone seems to be all wrapped up in their own self-involvement. And, It fascinates me to know that there are eight years olds out there, with step-by step lives planned out for them. Going to Ivy league colleges, and getting scholarships in elementary school. Success plainly handed to them on a large golden platter. It makes me a nervous wreck, seeing that, I don't know where I'm headed. I don't have too many plans for my future yet.

There are very few things that are actually home to me. And it really sucks when we have to move. Sometimes it seems that anything that gets anywhere close important to me, can and will genuinely vanish in a matter of moments. I keep my feelings close, and my head even closer. It takes a lot for me to open up it all to an absolute stranger. There's countless things that you probably won't ever know about me. Heck, there's so many things I'm baffled upon about myself too. The things that bother me, they build up. I don't often let them out until its thoroughly necessary.

The night is my companion. Its where my thoughts are most vivid, and my imagination, ajar. This is when my hand writes, illustrates, creates best (or I just read my books). I actually really want to aquire a set of paint and artsy tools. It's no nuisance, there's nothing to distract my mind. Everything is open, and my head is clear. I'm already a restless person, not quite an insomniac. I enjoy it most this way, and wouldn't want it any other. My sleeping schedule may be impossible, I'm tolerable with it. But, I most likely won't show you anything that my nights conjure up, nor my days. Again, I'm not an open book.

I've got plenty of flaws, don't get me wrong. I'm every ounce of insecure, and scared of death. I can be judgmental, and I won't always see things your way. My glass isn't half-full, nor half-empty and I don't believe that it honestly matters of that, but more or less, what's inside. I'm terrified of what I'll turn out to be, and where the roads will direct me. I lose friends, make friends. People disappear from my life completely and I honestly don't know who to keep around. Sometimes I'm on the borderline of just about five different people, being someone entirely different from one day to the next. I used to claim I was fearless, that none thing could phase me the least bit. I was wrong, I know I'm scared. You should admit it too, because trust me.. No one is strong enough to be unafraid. You, Yourself, will defeat fear, but you will never completely overcome it.



Props to you, if you read it entirely. Yes, somethings will change, some'll remain the same. Some may also thing I don't write like this....but when I get the computer room to myself....I can just open up and let the other half of me, nobody really knows, out. I don't even think my mom knew I was like this!
CHEESE!

Anyways....
I'll leave this blog up, and write others according to myself and what not.I don't know if any of you can relate, or if you even have the slightest opinion on any of this. It's mostly, for me. Comment if you'd like and feel free to ask any questions. Well.. take care.